mothertongue

I can baby-babble. I can coo with the best of them. sign language for babies? love it. I've even managed to squeak out passable answers about the sun and moon and the stars, or about how an engine works (although Kini did clarify pistons for me).

what I cannot do is this:



I mean, what on earth does this even mean?! how am I supposed to keep close with my older son if he's speaking a foreign language? what happened to bridge building and marble runs and care bears? my goodnight story requests are now about missiles and secret agents and guns. and I'm struggling and stuttering my way through calling them 'water squirters' and 'marshmallow shooters'. I stumble through stories now, always getting a disappointed sigh at the hasty 'the end', making my retreat from the story at the first exit sign.

I just don't speak fluent 'boy'.

I'm afraid of how we're going to connect as he gets bigger, and his interests stray from the alphabet and Lego. he probably won't want to play with beads with me once it's pointed out how 'uncool' it is. and I feel like an imposter with my boy-speak, just on the outside edge of phrasing things right.

and that makes my heart feel heavy.